I am one of the quiet ones they warn you about.  I generally keep my opinions to myself.  I have a “live and let live” philosophy, and I try not to judge people for their beliefs.  When Facebook friends post things I disagree with or object to, I let others argue back in forth in the comments.  I read them, but I stay out of it because I believe their Facebook status is their platform to use as they see fit.  If it is truly offensive, I know how to use the unfriend option.  However, there are times when I feel that I can no longer be silent, and sounding off to my closest friends and family is no longer enough.  I am not a celebrity who can bring high level of attention to causes.  I am not a politician who can make speeches or public statements (just the idea of speaking in front of more than 2 or 3 people makes me sick to my stomach).  I am not Chris Kluwe who I imagine types furiously for five minutes and ends up with a brilliantly written message that is entertaining, educational, and enlightening.  In fact, I blame Mr. Kluwe for the fact that I have not done more for a cause as important as marriage equality.  Because he so easily says what I struggle to say, I felt I could continue to remain silent and just quietly post his blogs on Facebook and Twitter (as I do with the statements from HRC and Minnesotans for Equality).  No doubt my 64 Facebook friends and 4 Twitter followers (hey, I just started Twitter about a month ago) just ignore those links.  With the election about 3 weeks away, I can no longer be content to just silently show support, and so I have decided this is one of those times when I need to be brave enough to be one small voice sounding off. 

Whether you agree with me or not on marriage equality, I ask you to please, please go to twincities.com and read Chris Kluwe’s blogs (Out of Bounds) on the subject.  At the very least, you will be entertained.  At the very best, you will be enlightened.  If you prefer my own, unintentionally dumbed-down reasons for voting “No” on the marriage amendment that is on the MN ballot this year, keep reading.  If you are inspired to do so, please share with your Facebook friends and Twitter followers – you have to have more than I do! 

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Speaking of people who are smarter than I am and who can write better than I can… Yep, that one is from the Declaration of Independence.  Okay, so they were not enlightened enough at that time to say all “people” instead of all “men,” but they were not perfect either.  That statement is not less true because its writers were imperfect, and it is a statement almost all of us claim to agree with (whether we believe in the same idea of a creator or not).  How then can we deny a group of people any right that the majority holds?  Haven’t we been down this road many, many times in our history?  In 2012, how sad is it that there is still a group being denied a civil right? This is the heart of my personal reason for voting “No.”  I will not be a part of denying anyone their civil rights. 

I have seen three main reasons for voting “Yes,” and I just want to briefly address them.  The first one is that we need to preserve traditional marriage.  Of course, they mean “recent” traditional marriage – not traditional marriages when women were considered a form of property or when only people with the same skin color could be married.  These are often the same people who seem to feel their own marriage will be in some sort of danger if we allow same sex couples to marry. If they choose to have a “traditional marriage,” then they have every right to have one.  How does any other marriage affect their marriage?  I am honestly confused by this.  I have been married for ten years, and I can tell you that there are only two people who can truly affect my marriage.  And, if they want laws to help protect marriage, they should probably start working on making infidelity and divorce illegal. 

The second reason that has been repeated over and over from groups urging voters to vote “Yes,” is for the protection of children.  There are some who seem to feel that allowing same sex marriage will somehow harm society and all children in general and others who feel that it will lead to more same sex couples having or adopting children.  Creating a culture where people are accepted for who they are and allowed equal rights is harmful to children?  I argue that a culture of acceptance and equality is exactly what we need to foster right now.  More children being raised by loving parents – yep, I am all for that too.  I have seen too many dysfunctional families with “traditional” parents to be convinced that all children need to be raised by a male and a female parent.  A person’s gender does not determine his or her ability to be a good, loving parent. 

The third and perhaps most powerful reason is that of religion.  There are those who argue that homosexuality itself is a sin.  To them, I say that I strongly disagree, but I respect their right to interpret the Bible as they see fit in determining how they want to live their lives.  However, their right to practice their religious beliefs stops the second they want to use those beliefs as an excuse to deny someone else their civil rights.  Why?  Because we live in the United States of America, and that is how we chose to establish our country and our laws.  We do not always get it right the first time, but we always fix it eventually, and that is why I truly believe marriage equality will happen in my lifetime.  Tied in with the religious arguments is sometimes the argument that marriage was established to have children and raise families.  The argument seems to be that because same sex couples cannot have biological children themselves that they would not have real marriage.  Wow!  Would those same people argue that if my husband and I do not eventually have biological children that there is something wrong with our marriage?  What if we do not want children – does that make our marriage less real?  What if we adopt a child – would that make us a fake family? 

In closing, I just want to say that voting “No” will not legalize same sex marriage.  It will only prevent the discrimination that is already law in our state from being added to the Minnesota Constitution.  It will not change anything for the better or for the worse.  So, there will still be much work to be done to bring equal marriage to our state.  For those of you are planning on voting “Yes,” please think about what your vote really means.  Please look back on the people who were not allowed to marry historically because they were of different religions or had different skin colors.  How ridiculous is that to us now?  How ridiculous will it be to future generations that we denied marriage to same sex couples?   Please think about what little impact this would actually have on your life.  When we finally do have marriage equality in our state, it will not impact you personally unless you or someone you care about plans to marry someone of the same sex.  I cannot imagine anyone I know willingly participating in discrimination and oppression and wanting to legally say that another group of people is somehow “less than” because of whom they love. 


Note: if you would like to follow me on twitter, I am @IrishViking26